Body language: The most important form of nonverbal com­mu­nic­a­tion

Language is deceptive. A person can say one thing and mean something entirely different or in­ten­tion­ally mislead another person through lies. But mis­lead­ing someone with their body language is much more difficult, since a big part of it happens sub­con­sciously. Through someone’s gestures, facial ex­pres­sions, and posture, you’re able to read into how a person is feeling. You only have to un­der­stand the signs.

If you’re capable of in­ter­pret­ing body language correctly you’ll have a huge advantage when it comes to com­mu­nic­at­ing with others. It means you’re able to level with someone’s emotional state and can more easily create an at­mo­sphere of trust. This applies to both private and pro­fes­sion­al life. At the same time, un­der­stand­ing others’ nonverbal signals is only the first step to adjusting your own body language ac­cord­ingly. It’s not about knowingly deceiving others, but about coming across in an authentic and confident way.

Body language is the most important form of nonverbal com­mu­nic­a­tion, as facial ex­pres­sions, gestures, and posture are usually a direct ex­pres­sion of how we feel. That’s because we send most of these signals sub­con­sciously. Es­pe­cially in emotional situ­ations when we’re happy, scared, angry, or sad it’s almost im­possible to hide this.

However, there are also conscious signals that can be used in a very targeted manner. Hand gestures can help emphasise our arguments, and facial ex­pres­sions can signal openness for a con­ver­sa­tion or the desire to be left alone.

Exhaling im­pa­tiently, rolling your eyes, an offended pout – these signals give away our emotions, even if they only last for a fraction of a second. And these signals can be read in the same sub­con­scious way as they’re sent out. That’s why we don’t like certain people at first glance or are instantly excited to see someone, without really being able to say why that is. We pick up on body language in passing, while we con­cen­trate on what’s being said or while letting our mind do all the work.

But besides sub­con­scious body language we also send out conscious body signals. This is language that we’re trained to un­der­stand and is con­di­tioned by our cultural sur­round­ing. We apply it in suitable situ­ations, to send a certain message, or to un­der­score what we’re saying. Typical examples of this include the raised index finger for “Attention!”, the thumbs up for approval, or open hands to cool down a situation or to appease emotional breakouts. But you should act with caution, as body language is always read within a cultural context. A certain hand gesture can have an entirely different meaning on another continent or in different cultural circles.

Body language has a strong influence on how people come across and how state­ments are picked up on. Just look at photos or video re­cord­ings of famous speeches. You’ll clearly see that not only the contents of the speech affect its success, but also if it is presented in a dynamic way. Body language tells listeners how important the topic is to the speaker, making it an essential criterion for cred­ib­il­ity.

But it’s also in our direct private and pro­fes­sion­al en­vir­on­ments that people are judged based on their body language. Nothing is more confusing than a colleague that’s ex­plain­ing how excited he is about an as­sign­ment with a blank look on his face, or a manager who rest­lessly scans the room while mumbling how fas­cin­ated he is by an idea. These examples show us that body language is something we are con­tinu­ously looking to un­der­stand and that, often, it even reflects the attitude of someone more au­then­tic­ally than their words. A sig­ni­fic­ant dis­crep­ancy between someone’s words and body language will un­doubtedly anger or annoy the person you’re speaking to.

But as already mentioned, you should be careful about con­sciously making use of body language in in­ter­cul­tur­al situ­ations, because these signals don’t have the same meaning in different parts of the world. On the other hand, it lets you com­mu­nic­ate even if you don’t speak the same language. This applies es­pe­cially to those more in­stinct­ively used facial ex­pres­sions and gestures that are uni­ver­sally un­der­stood, as they connect with humans’ un­der­ly­ing emotions. A smile, for example, is un­der­stood as a sign of openness and friend­li­ness almost every­where. For all other gestures, its best to first inform yourself on its meaning within a given cultural context. In Europe, a thumbs up is usually a sign of approval – but in Australia it can be a terrible insult.

Un­der­stand­ing body language and its signals plays an important role in everyday com­mu­nic­a­tion, and it is defined by a person’s facial ex­pres­sions, gestures, posture, and body movements. The huge influence that tiny motions have on our emotions is demon­strated in the below examples.

Facial ex­pres­sion includes all movements that can be read in a person’s face. One of the most important signals of all is smiling. It lets us com­mu­nic­ate openly with strangers, signals friend­li­ness, empathy, and joy, and is the perfect addition to a con­ver­sa­tion.

Emotions are very much com­mu­nic­ated through our eyes and em­phas­ised through the mouth and other facial movements. One look alone can signal interest, absence, affection, hate, distrust, curiosity, or fear, and all this can be read in a fraction of a second.

• Interest/curiosity: Your eyes are wide and calmly looking at the person you’re speaking to or the item you’re talking about, showing that you’re con­cen­trated and taking in in­form­a­tion. But beware: If eye contact lasts too long others can quickly feel un­com­fort­able.
• Dis­in­terest: Your gaze wanders through the room and stops at different people and movements. A totally unfocused, mo­tion­less stare is a sign that someone has retreated and is hung up in their thoughts.
• Surprise: Your eyes open up wide and eyebrows are raised.
• Rage/anger: Your eyes are narrowed as are the eyebrows and a frown is visible.
• Doubt: Your gaze is con­cen­trated, but your eyes are restless, because the listener is wondering whether to believe you. Depending on posture, eyebrows can be raised in amazement or can be pulled together in annoyance.
• Fear: With fear, too, the eyes are pulled wide open – at the same time the pupils are wide, to take in all details of the threat.

If you want to really un­der­stand body language, then you should pay attention to the pupils. They are very revealing, as their movements are not con­sciously con­trolled, but non­ethe­less clearly mirror emotions. When someone is excited, the pupils widen with ex­cite­ment; with fear or disgust, they get smaller.

Brain re­search­ers have dis­covered that the areas of the brain in charge of memory and pro­cessing thoughts and those in charge of con­trolling movement are directly adjacent. This explains why many people ges­tic­u­late when they speak, even if they’re on the telephone and no one can see them. Gestures help us to organise our thoughts and to create ref­er­ences to remember them better. These processes all happen sub­con­sciously, and are very different to the actively used gestures of trained speakers, politi­cians, and actors.

Beyond this, there are also gestures that we learn in the course of our lives, which serve to underline verbal ut­ter­ances:

• Welcome: Wide open arms that invite a hug, or an outheld hand that can be seen from afar both show ex­cite­ment to see a person.
• Defence: Stretched out hands to the sides with held up palms, turned towards another person, means that you are defending yourself. It signals that the other person shouldn’t come any closer.
• Anger: Forming a fist shows that a person is trying to control them­selves. If the fist is raised, it shows a threat of violence.
• De-es­cal­a­tion: The hand movements might be the same as in a defensive stance, but here the arms are not stretched out but kept close to the body. This gesture means you are trying to calm someone down and signals that they shouldn’t be afraid.
• Help­less­ness/ignorance: If someone doesn’t know how to deal with a situation, then this is shown by re­peatedly pulling up the shoulders.

These are just a few examples that demon­strate how hand gestures are used in day-to-day com­mu­nic­a­tion. This kind of body language is used by all people of a culture in the same way.

Posture is a clear indicator of a person’s emotional state. That’s why it’s said that happy people “glide through life,” while sad people shuffle along with low shoulders and a sunken head. A person’s con­fid­ence can also be picked up from a person’s body language. If your boss walks through the office with a raised chin, an arched chest, and wide steps, it’s clear that they are confident in their role and regard them­selves as a leader. Hasty, nervous movements like picking at your clothing or hair, or rocking your feet while sitting at the tip of the chair, on the other hand, signal un­cer­tainty and give the im­pres­sion that you want to escape the situation.

The examples mentioned above prove that posture and movements are difficult to keep apart. A certain posture requires a certain movement. It’s unlikely that a person with a proud, upright posture will walk timidly, and it’s unlikely that a person with a slumped posture will be walking down a street in fast, big strides.

Beyond this, there are certain movements that carry direct messages. An example of this is over­step­ping an ap­pro­pri­ate distance to another person. The specific point at which this becomes un­com­fort­able very much depends on the in­di­vidu­al. In general, ac­quaint­ances that we’re friendly with are allowed re­l­at­ively close. But between strangers, and es­pe­cially with superiors, distance is a sign of respect. If someone comes too close, it can be regarded as threat­en­ing or degrading. In any case, it means you’re crossing a boundary, which only in rare cases causes a positive reaction.

Having looked at various forms of body language with examples, it’s time to look at how to apply this knowledge to com­mu­nic­a­tion in the workplace. In pro­fes­sion­al life, un­der­stand­ing and using body language belongs to the com­mu­nic­at­ive soft skills of an employee.

Even during the job interview, body language plays an essential role. The time for both parties to make an im­pres­sion is limited, which is why nonverbal signals are used above average during this mutual eval­u­ation – since you can only talk about pro­fes­sion­al skills, but not really get a realistic picture of them.

For ap­plic­ants, it’s important to make a sovereign and confident, but not over­bear­ing, im­pres­sion. That’s why you should be aware of what your nervous gestures give away, for example by asking family and friends. For example, if you’re always playing around with your hair or plucking at your beard, you could try crossing your arms in your lap. During the con­ver­sa­tion, you should be sitting in a calm but upright position. If you’re leaning back with crossed legs on a chair, you might come across as dis­in­ter­ested and un­mo­tiv­ated.

If you’re the one taking the in­ter­views on the other hand, you should focus on sending out positive signals to help create a calm en­vir­on­ment and calm the applicant’s nerves. You can achieve this through friendly gestures and oc­ca­sion­al questions. If you have any criticism, then it’s best to not directly confront the applicant with this, but to use the proven sandwich method, whereby you sandwich criticism in between positive aspects.

A further common situation in which body language plays an essential role are ne­go­ti­ations. Whether a contract ne­go­ti­ation with a client or with your boss: These con­ver­sa­tions usually imply that both parties have different views and must find a com­prom­ise. The pre­vi­ously mentioned aspects con­cern­ing job in­ter­views equally apply here. But beyond this, you can make use of targeted gestures in this kind of situation, to show that you sym­path­ise with the other person’s views but also to clearly bring your own points across.

A proven strategy is the so-called mirror method, whereby you – dis­creetly – mirror some of your coun­ter­part’s gestures, sig­nalling that you’re on the same page and can relate to their “coun­ter­view.” If you sense that the con­ver­sa­tion might be in danger of slipping into a heated dis­cus­sion, a change in seating can help calm down the situation. If, for example, you’re sitting across from one another to start, you could choose to sit beside your ne­go­ti­ation partner, should there be enough space to do so. This signals that both parties are working towards the same goal, but just have to decide on the path there.

Should you already find yourself in the midst of a dis­cus­sion, then calming gestures, like holding out one or both open palms (without a defensive posture) or the calm lowering of your hands, can soften a situation.

However, you shouldn’t let yourself derail too much from your goal, which you should clearly bring across, should the situation allow it. Crossing your arms – a gesture you should generally avoid during direct con­ver­sa­tion – here becomes a sign that your pain threshold has been reached and that you won’t budge from your demands.

Whichever strategy you choose, it’s important that you don’t let your emotions get the best of you and that you always listen to your intuition on which signals are ap­pro­pri­ate and helpful. Then, you’ll be able to stra­tegic­ally use body language to your advantage.

Please note the legal dis­claim­er relating to this article.