JOMO: The mindful coun­ter­trend to FOMO

Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms can be addictive. Par­tic­u­larly younger gen­er­a­tions are familiar with the feeling of in­feri­or­ity that can arise when scrolling through feeds. When friends post their party pictures and exotic holiday photos online, sometimes our lives may seem boring; we worry that we’re missing out on exciting ex­per­i­ences.

But more and more young people are fed up with the pressure of being seen every­where and having to keep up with all the trends. They no longer want to be in a bad mood after being on social media, because they always feel like they’re missing out. Instead, they revel in JOMO (the joy of missing out) – letting the oc­ca­sion­al event pass them by and simply relaxing without doing anything.

Instead of going to the next hot party, JOMO pro­ponents choose to stay curled up at home and watch their favourite series – all without any bad con­science or regrets. They simply enjoy the moment and have rejected the idea that life is only ful­filling when there’s always something new to ex­per­i­ence.

We live in a time of countless op­por­tun­it­ies. And these op­por­tun­it­ies are con­stantly bom­bard­ing us on the internet – not just on social networks but also whenever we click on news portals, watch YouTube videos, or listen to podcasts.

JOMO pro­ponents no longer allow them­selves to be stressed by this endless range of op­por­tun­it­ies and digital im­pres­sions of the seemingly perfect life. Those who discover the joy of missing out for them­selves no longer try to keep up with every trend that emerges from the web. Instead, people with JOMO de­lib­er­ately shift down a gear and pay attention to their own needs.

They believe in quality over quantity, no longer let their decisions be dictated by “should” and “must,” but focus on the important people and activ­it­ies in their lives. And they regularly take time for them­selves – to relax, con­tem­plate, and simply do nothing.

While FOMO – the fear of missing out – has been a topic in main­stream media for many years now, JOMO is a re­l­at­ively new phe­nomen­on. It was not until 2018 that the New York Times named the joy of missing out a new summer trend, drawing it to the attention of a broader public.

JOMO is a logical response to FOMO. A US study found that the younger gen­er­a­tion is extremely stressed compared to older gen­er­a­tions. A con­cern­ing 95% of re­spond­ents said they were stressed oc­ca­sion­ally to very often.

The internet is thought to play a major role in this. 52% of re­spond­ents admitted to spending too much time online. And when they’re online, they compare their lives to others and the trends that are cool and in vogue.

Digital com­par­is­ons on social media lead to a constant feeling of overload. School, studies, and work already involve plenty of com­mit­ments, but in order to keep up with the seemingly exciting lives of social media friends, people are in­creas­ingly filling up their free time. Gen­er­a­tion Z and Y place too high demands on them­selves: they try to optimise their health with sport and nutrition, expand their skillset with med­it­a­tion and self-learning, and maintain friend­ships with parties, concerts, and weekend trips.

But when, despite all efforts, their lives still seem far from the polished existence of Instagram stars, they feel dis­sat­is­fied. For this reason, 59% of gen­er­a­tion Z members surveyed are actively trying to support their mental health and reduce stress. And quite a few are gladly turning to the joy of missing out as a result of this constant overload and permanent stress.

Although pressure and stress are in many cases ex­acer­bated by the internet and smart­phones, that doesn’t mean that people who practice the joy of missing out become tech-averse hermits. JOMO is rather about finding the balance and choosing self-de­term­ined contact with the digital world.

Joy of missing out is also not ne­ces­sar­ily the same as timeouts from smart­phones and the internet. Indeed, these digital detox regimes can also be taken out of a sense of necessity and a need for self-op­tim­iz­a­tion.

JOMO seeks to return joy to everyday life instead of pressure, and that can also mean happily consuming some digital services. In a British study, 78% of surveyed mil­len­ni­als said streaming services even spurred on their joy of missing out.

The great thing about JOMO is that you don’t need to follow a special method or do something in par­tic­u­lar to ex­per­i­ence the joy of missing out. But precisely that is unusual for many people. Those who find it difficult to do nothing should take the following five tips to heart:

1. Time for self-re­flec­tion: Joy in life doesn’t increase with ever more leisure activ­it­ies. Although it’s important to do things with friends and family, it’s also important to regularly spend time alone for your own mental well-being. Ideally, without using a smart­phone, the TV, or the internet. Reflect on problems and fears. Think back on things you’ve ex­per­i­enced and give your wishes and dreams the chance to enter your con­scious­ness.
2. Clarity on pri­or­it­ies: The more often you take short timeouts in which you think about your life, the more aware you’ll be of the factors in your life that are truly important to you. Consider which com­mit­ments and activ­it­ies are no longer right for you and cut them out to create more time for the people and ex­per­i­ences that mean something to you.
3. Learn to say no: When your pri­or­it­ies are clear, you’ll find it easier to say “no” to invites, requests, and offers. But if the word is a sticking point for you, focus on the areas of your life that you’ll have more time for when you say no. After all, every no means a valuable yes for your own plans.
4. Set aside time offline: In quiet moments do you find yourself grabbing your smart­phone or turning on the TV? Overcome this internal urge. Use apps that limit your access to certain pro­grammes, or enjoy a timeout on the weekend at a café with no Wi-Fi.
5. Focus on the here and now: More JOMO auto­mat­ic­ally comes when you accept the present moment. Ad­mit­tedly, this isn’t easy. But med­it­a­tion can help. It’s been shown to reduce stress levels and increase feelings of happiness. But it’s important that you regularly mediate – ideally every day – and that you don’t break the healthy habit as soon as you see a change in your mood. Otherwise, JOMO will vanish as quickly as it came along and FOMO will come knocking.